This post is dedicated to the person who has impacted my life the most.
Thank you for being a friend, role model, and father figure to me in times when I needed the most support. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for your influence in my life.
Thank you Mr. Larkin
8 Life Lessons From Mr. Larkin
1 ) Anything is possible.
When I was a child, I didn't understand what Mr. Larkin did for a living. I just knew he owned his own company and had a really cool house. That was enough for me to appreciate and aspire to become one day. I mean, what kid wouldn't want a pool, pool table, and hot tub in their house?! My immediate family is fairly lower-middle class which gave me both sides of the spectrum growing up. I'm an only child and would stay with different family members throughout the summer until I was old enough to be home alone. Going back and forth between different environments, from Detroit to South Lyon, opened my eyes to a broad spectrum of the world outside of home life and allowed me to identify what I want when I'm older. I later learned how Mr. Larkin went to Michigan State University and that was a big catalyst to becoming my dream school growing up. I've always wanted to follow in his footsteps!
Indirectly, Mr. Larkin inspired me with higher standards and something to strive for at an early age. Directly, he's always encouraged me to be my best and supported me no matter the circumstances.
2 ) Never give up when life gets tough. Things will eventually work out.
Early in life, Mr. Larkin never had a set path but always had strong character and integrity not to let others down. By the end of high school, he didn't have any plans of his own so he decided to tag along with a friend to attend Michigan State University because it sounded like a fun time. Incidentally, his friend didn't end up following through, however Mr. Larkin didn't want to back out to his parents and decided to stick with it. During his time in college, he enrolled in a mandatory two-year ROTC military training program that he dreaded, mainly because they had to wear uniforms throughout campus that notified everyone they were first- or second-year students. He would even take the long way to classes to avoid being seen! Without any academic plans, he found himself studying accounting since he seemed to be good with numbers.
After graduating with an undergraduate degree in accounting in 1969, he was swiftly selected for the military draft the following year. He served in the military for about three years and rose to captain during his time. To his benefit, the military experience instilled a deeper degree of discipline into him moving forward.
He worked for an accounting firm after serving his country. Then seven years later, he and a partner branched off to start their own firm. Unfortunately, his partner turned out to be lazy and more of a liability than an asset, leaving Mr. Larkin to do most of the work. It wasn't long until he took control of the situation and bought out his partner, making him a sole business owner in his mid-thirties while being a father of three boys.
Nothing was planned. He came from humble beginnings and just kept moving forward. He worked hard every day and took advantage of opportunities as they came along.
He always says, "life is a shit sandwich, but the more bread you have, the better." Of course, you're always going to have struggles in life. But it's better to work hard and have meaningful struggles with growth and financial freedom than bad struggles with harmful habits and an unhappy life.
3 ) Kindness and humility.
Supportive – Compassionate – Virtuous
Always a phone call away. Always willing to listen and offer guidance. Always there to help those in need. Whenever life throws me a major curveball, he's the first person I go to for advice.
Although I'm not related by blood or marriage, he welcomes me into his family with open arms. One of his greatest joys is bringing people together for happy gatherings. Some of my fondest childhood memories are celebrating the holidays together at Mr. Larkin's.
He knows he's not better than anyone else just because he worked harder. He's humble, lives below his means, supports charities, and cares for those around him. You couldn't ask anything more from a man.
These intrinsic values go unsaid but can be absorbed over time by being in proximity. Actions always speak louder than words. You can learn much about someone by observing their day to day actions.
4 ) Don’t engage with negative emotions.
Anger. Bitterness. Envy. Frustration. Resentment. Negative emotions don't do anything good for you. All they do is drain your energy. Instead, focus on the positive, the good in your life. Don't waste your limited time and precious energy on things that don't matter. External events can't afflict internal peace.
Mr. Larkin's stoic demeanor towards adversity never falters. When things go wrong, he doesn't feel sorry for himself. Instead, he stays in the present moment and continues forward rather than dwelling on the bad. With faith, there's always good to be found.
It was a snowy January morning and we decided to go to brunch. We should have rescheduled but it was just down the street. He picked me up and off we went into the oncoming blizzard. After a casually insightful conversation like always, he dropped me off. Less than five minutes later, I received a phone call, "Dan, I'm stuck in a ditch. Can you come help me out?" I felt so bad! Especially after seeing the front bumper of his Tesla hanging off. I felt guilty and responsible for not rescheduling until the snow cleared, but he was unfazed. I started apologizing while helping him out of his car, then he stopped me and said, "life happens." His calmness throughout the situation put me at ease. There wasn't the slightest sign of frustration. He ordered a new car the next day and didn't give up an ounce of negative energy.
I stressed more about it than he did and that experience has forever been a lesson for me!
Life strikes unexpectedly, you can't change what happened, but you can control how you respond.
Stay positive
in
the
face
of
adversity
5 ) Set boundaries from toxic people and surround yourself with the right people.
Mr. Larkin doesn't hold resentment toward people that wronged him. The past is the past and lessons learned. Instead of holding on to hatred, distance yourself and don't enable their bad behaviors to continue through you.
I've learned through various relationships that you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. It doesn't matter how you try. They have to want it for themselves first. You have to accept that and let go so you don't waste your time and energy on something that won't change. Instead, lead by example like Mr. Larkin and inspire others to come to you for guidance when they're ready.
Surround yourself with those who empower you to be your best, not those who use you for personal gain. Ask yourself, is there a mutual exchange of value and respect? Does having a relationship with this person bring more positive to my life than negative? If not, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship and create distance. You are not obligated to associate with anyone that makes your life worse.
Remember, going out to eat is more about the company than the food.
6 ) Life is about the quality of your relationships, not wealth or material things.
The most valuable things in life can't be bought – not your time, health, personality, family, or free will. Each is limited to what you are born with and generally depletes over time. The gifts we get for free turn out to be the most meaningful things in life, but since they are free, they are far too often undervalued.
Mr. Larkin cares most about his family. He's humble and doesn't indulge in luxuries. His main concern is that the people he cares about are in good hands. His parents sacrificed above and beyond for him and his siblings. I've heard heroic stories, and a common theme is that the little things turn out to be the big things over time. Intrinsically hard-working, sincere, and selfless are often taken for granted in the present but looking back, you see how fortunate you were to have those people in your life.
When you find someone special that supports you for being you, don't let them go!
7 ) Do the right thing.
Doing the right thing is putting yourself aside for the betterment of society and the environment. Let's face it, there are much more important things than you and I. We both know this! You've seen the movie 300, Harry Potter, I Am Legend, or Avengers. Life is chaos when we thoughtlessly act in our own best interests, no better than wild animals in a jungle fighting for survival. Civilization and entire ecosystems as we now know will collapse if we only do things for ourselves. Today we are at the breaking point of irreversible environmental damage because we put financial profits over the planet's wellbeing. If we don't change, we will succumb to greed, envy, lust, and survival, becoming isolated and weak. We are surely stronger and can accomplish more when collaborating toward common goals that benefit all parties.
Doing the right thing sets the tone for a leader. Put purpose and a sense of duty over passion and any personal gain. Others will follow this example, creating a positive culture with strong character for the entire organization. It's not always easy but doing the right thing is always worth it!
"Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn't matter. Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested."
– Marcus Aurelius
8 ) Importance of higher education and the ability to think for myself.
When I was younger, Mr. Larkin always joked around with a teasing jingle, "Dan, Dan, the garbage man!" This was his way of motivating me away from a life of physical labor while positively enforcing the benefits of being educated and having options when I'm older.
I remember seeing a "How To For Dummies" book in his office and always thought it was funny. Of course, now I understand those books value in turning complexity into simplicity. I've realized how you have to be willing to be a dummy to learn!
Most people are too afraid to fail that they don't even try.
Mr. Larkin has always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and keep going when things are difficult because it will pay off later.
Life isn't always sunshine and roses. I'm continuing to move forward one step at a time while staying mindful to enjoy the good moments. Change is the only constant in life, so you might as well embrace it.
I will always keep these lessons close to heart as they have helped shape me into the man I am today.
Thank you, Mr. Larkin. I know you will be part of everything I do going forward.
Love you, Grandpa